1- Get to know the most important person in my life a little better … myself.

I’m still weird to me

2- Take care of my hair and skin.

they are worse now ! gah
3- Keep my room and my things clean and tidy.

nope
4-Be more sensitive.

yeah I cry now

5- Be kind to my little brother.

he doesn’t let me !
6- Stop buying unimportant stuff (bags,abayas,mobiles,…) till I graduate.
7- Try to dress up like a lady sometimes.

still on that :S
8- Take care of my study a bit more.

I did but ..
9- Act maturely in front of my dad.

I want my driving license la

waiting for driving lessons
10- Get over 90%.

89.9 best number in a student life ha ?

11- Take care of my spiritual and religious side.

alot better
12- Be more confident.

yeah on progress
13- Read more widely in English.

better than before but I still can’t understand everything at once !
14- Do all above. !?!?!?!?!?

hell no

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some people think nice people are like puppies every time you throw a stick they will go get it with no thinking just to please you.

I got a phone call from my best friend “or so I thought she is” asking me for a favor.

she : hi

me: hello

she : I want your help.

me: sure

she: I want you to chat with someone under ****’s name then send him pictures I will give you later.

me : what why?

she: I just want to destroy her reputation. you know that bitch who stole my man.

me: I don’t even know her. NO !

she: she is a bad person.

me : I’m not sure of that. nope I can’t do it.

she: I thought you are nice !

me : well, nice enough to not do this.

she: so we are over.

me: what?

she: forget that you had a friend called *****

me: …

tooot ! (hang up the phone)

I know I did the right thing. I just feel used I was a friend of that girl since sixth grade.

losing her is better than hating my self for the rest of my life.

I’m wondering why did she choose me ?

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yesterday I went out with my friends, they were acting weird like if they were 50 years old or older. except two of them and me.

To them we were embarrassing so they just walk away and let us alone doing kids stuff like going to movies. they just dwell in a coffee shop talking about boring subjects. they added years to their behavior in one month. and when we asked them why, they said: you know we are grown ups now we should act like big girls. hey most of us are not even 18 yet! plus we are not doing any thing childish or stupid. we are going to collage so what? we will play cars before we get fat . what is wrong with that ? isn’t it a kind of الترفيه الحلال ?

stop being fun is not in the definition don’t you think?

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I don’t believe that people still forward these stupid messages. my inbox was full and I could not receive an important message cause of that !

so If you are afraid to die don’t send me such messages cause I will kill you with my bare hands ! :devil:

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I started writing my fifth novel “the four happinesses” after I stopped writing for like 3 and a half years. I wrote 15 pages so far. It reflects my inner struggles and confusion by the main character “si xi” a girl with a Chinese name which means the four happinesses.

oh, I’m not that talented and people will read them after I die.

I hope that I could complete it

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- learn driving.

- do some reading about things I don’t know.

- have a programming background.

- grow my hair.

- learn a new language (Hindi).

- learn cooking.

- learn to apply make up.

- satisfy my shopping hunger.

- have a part-time job.

- hand crafting ( God I miss creativity)

- fast days from Rajab and Shabaan.

- change my style.

- start writing again ( I used to write stories)

- watch prison break.

- gather with my old friends.

I’ll do “some/most” of those

OR

I will end up with the ” eat-sleep-watchTV” situation like every summer !

this summer should be different though

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so, I have changed the theme , watched 3 movies and slept very well.

Today I woke up fresh and studied for tomorrow !

2nd/june/2008 I’m waiting for ya

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the whole system is 5ra6a ! I mean we did not get any information about universities. other schools give lectures and trips but her ! ah

the graduation gown is ugly and we still don’t have them! will they give them to us on the party’s day? hah ! I’m a small person I need a small size!!!!!! I bet I will get an XXXXL size !

the UOB application papers, we have to go ourselfs, yes taking responsibility is good but we have no idea. they say that we need the graduation certificate, we don’t have them yet.should we hand over the application papers first and then the graduation certificate or what?? ! all schools I know has took them to UOB !

graduation pictures, I still have a chickenpox-ed face and they want to take pictures now ? without make up ? and they may publish them on the newspaper. cool the one with lots of pimples … that is me ! haa3 sweet !

and … etc .. etc .. etc

I’m fade up .. enough

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Anyways, when I knew that I had a week off. I was like “yeah a break from the stupid school .. awesome ” but I was completely wrong. It is an itchy week .. really I have a strong desire to rub and scratch myself against the wall but DAMN I CAN NOT AHHHHH. I can’t sleep well cause of that and when I fall asleep for a minute I have the weirdest dreams ever like ” the longest line of people with chickenpox” WTF ?

I paint my self with the white thing the gave me then wash it cause it hurts ! I sometimes say strange stuff cause of fever.

I went to the sea and GOD that was helpful but when I got home and my clothes dried it was the same old fucking annoying itch !

I’ll try “NEEM “<< a tree (leafs) they say it helps !

a tip for parents : let your kids have chickenpox while they are little kids “under seven yrs ” they can stand it better than the old people like I am ! really my little brother was playing and dancing while he was having it. if you have a kid let me kiss him/her now !

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lonely morning walk

I didn’t think that walking will help me being energetic, fresh and most important AWAKE. But it did. The air is clean in the morning, you can deeply breath oxygen, the sun is not hellish hot it’s just pretty soft light to see dewdrops on the green leafs of desert. Now It’s my escape from people’s buzz, to clear my mind and prepare to start a new day ..

2- New interests:

a. I love microbiology!
It’s very interesting to see the little guys we live with. I took drops from my parrot’s water and grow the bacteria in a Petri dish. Let’s see what we touch every day!

Day1

the small dots are the bacterial colony ! pretty ha?

After 2 days the fungi will come out . no not ew !

b. I love classic art

Ex: THE NIGHTMARE

Clear, strict, careful… Absolutely beautiful..

New friend:

I used to hate her, I was wrong. She is a really sweet person we just misunderstood each other.

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