Cookie

I am the middle child , I felt left out when I was a kid. I felt that I have to be independent and never ask for help cause no one will ever help me cause my older brother has always stole the lights.

I felt in the beginning of teen aging that my parents hate me and I was just a mistake.

now (to my parents), I am the responsible person who close the doors before bed and keep the important stuff with! the one who can NEVER be mistaken so if I did a small silly mistake it is unforgivable and hunts me till I die. even my father said once you are smart you can’t be mistaken!

so, the older one can live his life although he have to learn how to be responsible.

and the elder one with a big age gab between me and him is the KID and I think he will be treated as the KID forever cause when I was his age I used to sleep alone but he doesn’t !

being a mid child is unfair !

I’m happy with my self now .. but my parents are mad cause they want my brother to be a bit like me ! .. refresh your memory..

mid children are always ” different” in a way ( good or bad )

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stupid class mates I’m sick and tired of your FAKE femininity. yes softness and beauty are important and a part of being a female but not as you are doing ! you are unbearable !!!!!!!

* sneeze like a girl ! do you mean that I have to blow my eardrum and have a bubble inside my skull for like a week ? no thanks I don’t want to sneeze like a girl I prefer my current human sneeze !

*  walk like a girl . walking is the action which makes you move from point A to point B. my mama taught me to walk like this and she taught my brother to walk the same. walking is walking and but dancing is different.

DAMN you make life hard ! live easy !

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so , 2 months left till I graduate. most of my friends and class mates has already decided what they are going to study next. but me ..! I’m still clueless. don’t tell me follow your dream cause I don’t have one anymore !

I had two dreams !

 the first one WAS being a doctor and I think that every one has dreamed about it.

and the second one is creating a cartoon film. I still have hope on this one ! for unknown reasons I still think that I’ll make my cartoon film one day !

 anyways, that is not gonna help !

I need help from people with experience

If you read this tell me what are you studying and do you like it? / what would like to study and why ?

plz help !

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The 13th of march 08

This day was full of love.

 when we was walking to morning queues every one was in a rush which is weird cause every one hate it ! but the reason of that rush is that there were love letters every where on the yard. a letter of a desperate lover who is ready to kill him self for his lady ! and we heard lots of rumors like :” ohh I saw a girl crying I bet that is her”.. ” yeah I know the guy she dumped him” … ” no it’s for me he told me that !”  but the funniest was the school headmistress who stood on a paper to read it later

*- That action made my friends confess about thier love relationships.

*- some girls called boys they love to say “I love you”

*- some girls were sad cause nobody love them and feel that no one will ever do such thing for them.

*- some girls were like ” asta’3fur allah” fa7shah la yajooooz !

 *- I kept a copy of the letter to remember this day.the words are stolen from a song of kadhum al saher as I heard  

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 looking at the mirror till my face blurs. then start talking to my self about my self, what I need, what I feel or just crazy talks !

The funny thing is that “my self” I’m talking to happened to be a guy. a guy with no face and he/me is my best friend cause I can talk without fear.

hmmn, I talked to my friends about that and they said that they do the same thing and some of them have named the guy/their self  !

that is crazy I know ! but it helps ! and yeah we do not do it in puplic cause we will seem unstable

It is most people my age dirty little secret. ! so if you heard someone talking or laughing in his/her room don’t be afraid it’s self talking !

blogging may solve this crap

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I love you, I miss you, you are mine , I’m too hot , you are a pretty boy , I hate me , no body loves me , I want to die , I wish to die , life is hard , حبيبي خاين , sexy girl , love is pain ….. etc

all these MSN nicknames belong to kids ! ” under 13 years old” . That is weird !

I remember my first nick name was  ” my name the flower” :p

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this picture is a very me !

when I’ve chosen science specialty I thought that I will invent , discover something or at least spend time in laps working with real things !

But when I got there my dreams/expectations did not happen! I was in shock cause we had to imagine what we learn. we have to imagine physical actions,creatures, chemical reactions and other - must to see- things.

I thought that I’m going to think my way but I discovered that I have to think like a copying machine!

I thought that I’m going to be a little scientist but I became a broken memory card.

I believe that schools make you stupid. unless you are stupid !

3 months left

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okay, I have a little issues with my cosines. they hate me for no reason . which make hate them back.

I got the courage to ask one of them ” why do you hate me? ”

she looked at me with a sad face and said: don’t you remember ?

I said : what ? refresh my memory plz !

she : one upon a time (2005) 2 girls ” cookie and  ***** ” went to the park . cookie played and had fun but the poor ***** who is 2 years younger than cookie could not cause every time she get on the swing or any thing boys start whistling and yelling!

me : you’re a beautiful girl you should be happy !

she : NO ! they’ve done that cause I look older than you ! way older

me : !??!?!?!

she : you are little you can play and do any thing, you can go to weddings without beaing asked by women how old are you !

me : did I make my self little ?  in fact I hate being little cause people think I am  a kid so they don’t respect me. and wedding thing, women ask me to get up and let older people ( who maybe younger)  to sit on my place !

she : really ? I’m sorry

me : no problem

ridicules ! I love being little not short just little ,I knew that she wants a little of self confidence cause she really looks older than her age !

can you hate and boycott someone cause of that?

I wonder what the other cosines reasons , I may have bigger nose

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I’ve taken a medicine for three months. Although it made me get better , it made me gain weight. I’m not talking about 1kg or 2. I gained 11 kegs. I didn’t know that tell today I mean yeah I look fatter and my clothes  became really tight but I thought that I had 3 or 4 extra kilos.

thanks to the doctor who did not tell me that this medication causes weight gain as a side effect.

I knew about that after I took it for 2 and a half months. (I search about it online)

and I should I’ve taken it with less calories or a diet from the doctors. but in here you get fat without knowing why and the only thing to blame is the poor Machboos

I have to lose those 11 kilos but I don’t know how.

check this out

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when you walk around you see houses, houses and more houses and if you looked closely at these house you will see eyes hunting you!

people park their cars everywhere like they own the street.

women have fights almost every two weeks or less OUTSIDE !

boys are always having zeraan and their music is always loud

men gossip! n their gossips are worse the women’s

kids have the best bad language I’ve ever heard !

girls consider this neighborhood better than seef mall

and they won’t read this cause computer/internet is HARAM !

cute ha?

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